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Not the best Wednesday

Wednesday the 15th of February
Today had lots of potential to be great. Unfortunately, it was poorly thought out and executed which I probably should have known would happen - you can't plan group events in less than 24 hours. As I'm writing this, I realize that I'm not so mad at today as I am at myself. I always have such high expectations for things and when things don't turn out exactly as I imagined I feel let down and very disappointed. The day itself wasn't horrible, but in comparison to what I had hoped for, it kind of was, which is something that I feel quite often. Like Jenna Marbles says, if you don't have high expectations, you can't be let down.

Yesterday at school I brought up the idea of going bowling - I had already researched beforehand and knew that there was a bowling alley in Lyon, so I brought up the idea to Dārta and Alex. They were very enthusiastic about it, so I proceeded to invite a few other people that I had been friendly with. I got yes 2x, maybe x2 and 1x no. The 2 maybe people ended up cancelling or not writing back, which wasn't that tragic, because I had 2 other yeses from Dārta and Alex. Dārta was going to a museum with her host parents in the afternoon at around 2 or 3 in Lyon, so we decided that we would meet up after she had finished with that.

Alex also had some plans with his friends in Lyon, but we said that we would go bowling at around 3 or so. I took the train to Lyon with Alex at 12:20 and we arrived at 12:40 - he left to meet up with his friends and I didn't really have anything planned, so I went to the mall across the street and got a burrito and did some people watching while listening to podcasts - being social while not having to talk to anyone. At around 2 or so, I left the mall and started to walk in the direction of the bowling alley. I also found a nice park where I could enjoy my burrito and do some more people watching. Even if the day wasn't that eventful, I definitely caught up on all of my podcasts.

Then I got a message from Dārta at 2:45 that she had just arrived at the museum. By now I was feeling very run down and a little sad that things weren't going the way I had wanted. Then Alex told me that he might not be able to make it and I felt like crap. I told him that we probably wouldn't start bowling for another hour or so because she had just arrived, and he replied that he could come in another hour, so I then relayed that message to Dārta. (Really what I'm realizing here is that we should have just had a group chat...) I had nothing to do for an hour, so I went to a museum that was near me. It was the African Museum of Lyon - it looked interesting on the website, but there was no information at all and it was just African artifacts with no context. They did have some little figures that I would like to have learned about, though.

Only 30 minutes has passed, and Dārta and I were kind of questioning whether we should even go bowling if there was only going to be 2 of us. I was ready to play at least one round, but I let her make the decision and forced myself to be fine with it either way - she decided to postpone bowling till the break next week. Honestly, I was looking forward to some one on one time with Dārta, because she seems like the best kind of person. Bur, it was also my fault as I said before, because I put so much pressure on myself for everything to go just as I want.

It was like 4 by then, so I walked back to the train station and missed the train by 3 minutes, which meant that I had to wait another hour for the next train. I was in a terrible mood. I didn't even laugh when Julien Solomita made amazing segue in the Jenna Julien Podcast, or when John Green said that history was science. I didn't want to be around myself then, but I don't have a choice so I had to deal with it. I bought my overpriced ticket back to Vienne and stared at the departure screen for 40 minutes waiting for the platform to show up. I could have definelty spent my time doing something much more productive, but I didn't feel like it. Then a guy sat next to me on the train and fell asleep, effectivly blocking my exit route. Waking him up made me feel better.

All in all, not the best day, but there is really no one to blame but myself. I mean, I want to blame everyone involved today, but that isn't fair at all, because things get in the way of other things. I understand. I really missed my friends and family in Austria today. No one really knows me here yet and finding friends that understand you, comfort you, listen to you, don't judge you are really hard to find and it takes a while to build friendships like that. I am crying while writing this - the first time since the first week. I miss the predictability of my life in Austria.

instagram: @amelia_navarre

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  1. Sending you another hug Amelia. If you have time on Friday, I'll be home, you can Skype with Moose Lamb ... that will cheer you up.


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